A word from the tub

I am writing to you live from the bathtub.  I hate baths.

Honestly I should be relaxing but my height seems to be a perplexing issue. Being five feet and seven inches tall, sitting up in the tub renders my legs too short, and therefore I can not reach the faucet. If I slightly lay down, this leaves my knees to chill above the water. Either way renders my back being un-soaked, un-relaxed and possibly more tense than when the bath began.

When you’re younger, taking a bath is fun; it’s like swimming without all the effort.

Usually bath time for me was filled with making air bubbles out of your wash cloth, or taking your Barbie’s head off to use it as a squirt toy. (If you wish to know how this is done you can tweet me.)

When you’re younger, you’re shorter (usually), have no worries (usually) and fewer responsibilities (usually). Maybe this is why baths were fun as a child?

As an adult you have things to do, clean, sort and take care of. If you are an adult female taking a bath, you not only have the previous list of worries, but if you are body conscious, you have to worry about shaving your legs, armpits, sloughing off dead skin and of course “that dreaded time of the month”. Being an adult female, taking a bath, you start to worry and stress while in the tub more than you would out of it because now you’re just thinking of everything that needs to be done while you’re just sitting in there wasting your time. Its as if the act of taking a bath has added a whole new list of worries.

As a child you have nowhere to be, so for all you care you can stay in the tub until you turn into a shriveled prune. Chances are if you are an adult entering the tub; you either look like a prune, or certainly feel like one.

However the advantages of being a bath taking adult are this:

1.  You can now play with fire.

This is typically something that was forbade as a child by your parent or guardian, however, now you’re of age you can light any candle you want.

2.  You can bring a beverage of your choice into the bath tub.

Previously you were not allowed to bring Kool-aid or any other colored beverage into the tub with you. Now, if you choose to bring a beverage, make sure you don’t spill it onto your newly lit candle; some beverages will turn your whole tub into the candle, with you being the wick.

Well my time is up, my toes have turned into prunes.

What do you think of bath-time as an adult? Is it more stressful than just taking a quick shower for you too?


6 thoughts on “A word from the tub

  1. Ha ha ha! (Laughing at your comment, not your situation!) WOW, so you would have to take a bath propping yourself up in 90 degree angles! Maybe one day they will create a expandable/collapsable tub for tall people? We can dream right?

  2. Love this and many of your posts … you’re a great writer … been enjoying your site so I’m nominating you for the Illuminating Blogger Award for informative, illuminating blog content. I know not everyone participates in blog awards but I hope you’ll at least check it out because it’s a great way to discover new blogs and meet new web friends. If you’re interested in participating, you can check out the details at my site … http://foodstoriesblog.com/illuminating-blogger-award/ … Either way, hope you’re having a great day!

  3. I absolutely loved this post. finally someone who doesn’t adooooooooooore baths. I do not relax, especially with the candles and scented salts, it makes me nervous just like yoga. The whole thing where you have to relax by staring at the ceiling is driving me nuts. I just get terribly bored, find the bathtub harsh and unconfortable, start making lists of all the things I have to do, and when I really give it a go to relax and get a book, it is bound to fall in the water….
    So yes, quick showers for me 🙂

  4. Your blog is great! I read your post about the notes, and that really resonated with me because I recently went to my earliest facebook posts (I know, not physical notes, I never kept those unfortunately) and I couldn’t understand most, if not all, of what my friends and I were talking about!
    But this post about the bath made me want to comment, because baths are one of my all time favorite things, because I’m only 5’4, and can semi-comfortably fit in a regular sized bath tub. There is nothing more relaxing than a bath, but the one thing that bothers me is that I get very bored because I can’t take a book with me, since my arms get tired. 😦 It’s a difficult, complicated life we live haha
    Keep up the good work on your blog! You have very insightful things to say, and your posts did fill me with sunshine! 🙂 thanks!

  5. My feelings were precisely these.

    However, in recent times things have changed thanks to my bath-loving housemate. Affectionately dubbed “tub time” she could barely imagine anything better to do than bathe. Walking into the living room armed with a towel she would declare “Do you need to use the bathroom? Because it is definitely Tu-ubtime!” Or on a particularly cold and gloomy day I would receive a message: “Soooo having tub time when I get back!” I was dubious to say the least. Previous experience had left me thirsty and being so close to my own naked knees filled me with unease. But as this pattern continued I became intrigued, and even envious. How was it that she found such comfort in the watery depths of the bath when I felt nothing? Once out, she would pad off to bed and I would enter the bathroom to a rush of sweet, soapy steam. Brushing my teeth into the fog of my reflection I felt strangely sad as if having just skipped a family roast to go home and eat carrot sticks. I was missing out. Man, I was missing out big time….

    So armed with a candle and a book (the book was a bad idea) I gave tub time a second chance. And I am happy to report that although I am still tall, five-foot-ten, and my knees as confronting and pale as always; bathing is after all a pleasant experience and an experience I will repeat. Now for a drink..

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