Well life has really been a journey this last year. This time last year I was dealing with divorce, trying to find myself, and trying to figure out how to get back to being me. Around this time last year I was moving into my apartment, and semi-flirting with the guy miles away at a call center on the other end of the phone who was helping me set up my internet. I was so proud that I remembered how to flirt; I posted it on Facebook.
Then came a barbecue in June that I went to with one of my St. Louis besties, and wound up flirting with one of my guy friends which turned into a relationship.
Sadly, this year I’ve come full circle.
This last year has been a trial of sorts. I’ve had to deal with saying goodbye to a life I knew in St. Louis for almost six years, say good-bye to some really awesome friends, and say hello to a new job at a law firm in the Ozarks. Unfortunately a week and a half into the job, I realized it wasn’t cracked up to what it was meant to be and started looking elsewhere. That is when I found a job that is a dream for anyone who is wanting to make the world more eco-friendly one step at a time, and remained friends with my former bosses at the law firm. Then, unfortunately about three weeks later, my family lost my Grandfather, and a month later I lost one of my best friends to a stroke who helped me through my divorce last year and helped to pick me up off the ground after I hit my version of rock bottom.
Now, I’ve had to say good-bye to the boyfriend who helped me process all of this. We had our series of ups and downs (as most couples do) and unfortunately, the things life had thrown at me had made things a bit too much. If my ex is reading this, I just want to say thank you for everything. If it weren’t for him I would not have learned how to become stronger, say no to the negatives in my life, how to say no to things that weren’t right for me at this point in time and say yes to myself.
In life people are sent to you for a reason (as the old poem goes) and this is true. It is only when we step into those uncomfortable situations that we grow, and inevitably I believe this is the reason we were put into each other’s lives. As some relationships happen, they eventually deteriorate with an unforseen purpose, and this is when you find out what your mettle is. What you are able to put up with, what are you are able to tolerate and what you respect.
When going through this recent break up with my ex, I remembered an episode of “How I Met Your Mother”. Honestly I don’t get to watch the show often but this one stuck out in my memory. The lead male character Ted finds himself on a blind date with a girl he went out with seven years prior. It wasn’t until the end of the date that he realized why he never called her back all those years ago, much like what happened with my ex and I on our first date when we were teenagers.
Ted explained how he loved finding typos in the dinner menus and how that wasn’t going to change, and how he is going to continually make lame pun-ny jokes. This is when the girl claimed she would still continue talking about her cats and wouldn’t stop. This is when they decide to part ways with Ted saying the words that permanently engraved their way into my brain. (To the fans of the show, I apologize, there is heavy paraphrasing here…) Basically he tells his date it would be better to hold out and wait for the person who kind of likes each other’s idiosyncracies rather than find someone who just “tolerates” them.
No one should just go through life “tolerating” their loved ones.
As you can tell by the blog title, I’m quirky. It’s a main trait. Its nothing to be ashamed of and its something I’m proud of because it comes naturally and its something that most people have to work at. Because it comes naturally and its something that people have literally tried to mentally, verbally and physically beat out of me before, and none of those tactics have worked, I know it’s there permanently. Due to permanent quirkiness, I want a loved one who respects it and doesn’t just deal with it.
As bad as this may sound, this is what I mean when I say people are sent into your life to test your mettle. My ex helped me to accept myself as I am and to be comfortable with that. He helped me see the negatives and know what I will put up with and what I will hold strong against. Unfortunately the downside is us no longer being a couple but we are that much better for having gone through what we did with each other.
Who had a positive affect on your life with an unfortunate ending? Who taught you the most in your life positive or negative?