Double Dip

“You know what we need? CHEETOS!”

The other day at work I came across an advertisement on the shipping box of a guacamole dip we stock. It read, “Friends don’t let friends double dip.” As soon as I read it I had to cut it out and save it. The reason this saying is special, is I have a best friend who used to be guilty of this sort of thing when we were younger.

It was the summer of 89. I had been friends with her since our second grade summer when we rode the same bus home one day and realized her grandma lived down the street from my parents and I.

Our summers were filled with many shenanigans, like reading Archie comics and then pretending we were Betty and Veronica. Because my friend had been known to bully me in the past, and because I was pretty easy-going, she usually got her way and was always Betty. We would typically raid the steamer trunk that had been my Aunt’s which resided in the basement and dug out my Mom’s high-school clothes which looked like the one’s we had seen in the comics. We didn’t just pretend to be Betty and Veronica; we were Betty and Veronica. My friend insisted that I couldn’t be Betty based on the fact my hair was dark brown. She had lovely blonde hair and therefore always won the rights to being Betty, even though it was very clear she at heart was a Veronica.

This particular summer, we tried a different shenanigan of sorts, and tried to once; be civilized ladies. You see, earlier at Christmas I had received a beautiful blue china tea set. It had never been used, and now was as good a time as any to break it out and use it.

My mother was famous in the neighborhood for her sweet tea. She would pour two cups of sugar per pitcher and let the mixture convene and sit for a while before putting it in the refrigerator. This was a dream for my best friend and I.

We decided to gently get the blue tea set down from my book-case where it was displayed and pour this sweet nectar into the teapot, pretending we had just brewed our own “cold” tea. We had everything set up beautifully on the table. We had each cup with it’s dish, we had the tea-pot full, but something was missing. Most women we had seen in movies and story books had biscuits, scones or even a light wafer cookie. We weren’t yet women, and we didn’t have any of those things in the cupboard; but we did have Cheetos.

As we sat there pretending to be affluent women munching on Cheetos and drinking my Mother’s homemade tea, this is when I saw something that would be burned in my brain for blackmail later and used for a future blog; even though I didn’t know what a blog was at the time. I saw my friend grab a handful of Cheetos, eat them, and then proceed to lick each finger and the palm of her hand savoring every bit of the flourescent orange powder before sticking her hand back in the bag to eat and repeat. I sat there bewildered, and couldn’t believe my eyes. I watched her do it one more time before I couldn’t take it anymore. After all, this is the same friend who used to punch me on the arm repeatedly in 3rd grade at the lunch table for not knowing you weren’t supposed to have your elbows on the table.

I finally made a remark, saying something about it be unhygienic, followed by, “Eww!” and basically her reply was something like, “SO?” I couldn’t argue with that. She’s a best friend, we shared each other’s secrets (if we had any at the time) and we knew the other didn’t have cooties. What else could we do but sit there, get hopped up on mom’s sugary goodness, and eat something in an un-ladylike manner on that hot summer day?

What are some of your favorite memories of your friends? What was something you used to enjoy doing with your childhood friends?


17 thoughts on “Double Dip

  1. I remember a friend and I decided to get creative with food coloring and made blue pancakes and green popcorn. Once looking at those blue pancakes, we really weren’t hungry anymore. Sad, I’m sure they tasted good too.

    • BLUE PANCAKES? THAT SOUNDS AWESOME! What made you choose the popcorn over the pancakes? Usually it seems people would be repulsed by green and not blue? Ha ha ha! What a great story!

      • If I remember correctly, the popcorn was the night before and popcorn is good in any color but when you are tired you really don’t want to eat blue pancakes. At least I don’t.

  2. High Five on your post (but wash your hands first). I remember my mother-in-law who is generally on a health kick trying to convince us that cheese puffs were actually healthy because they weren’t fried. My husband sounded like Ray of Everybody Loves Raymond, “Aww come on, Ma” (but we would never call her ma).

    • Do I have to? What if I like the artificial orange coloring on my hands that makes me look like I’ve been fake tanning all day? Ha ha ha you are so funny! The idea of your husband calling out your Mother-In-Law on the cheesy puffs is hilarious! What was the verdict? Did she eventually see your side on things? 🙂

  3. Oh, what a great story! You were so lucky to have a friend that you could double dip after and she you. Very touching-no pun intended! Thank you for this

  4. Ha! This was a good one. Licking each finger huh … that would have grossed me out even at that age. I’m sort of a Purell freak. I would have just handed her the bag and told her she could finish it. Back in my day people did that with Corn Nuts.

    • Corn Nuts huh? Ha ha ha! Well, had I given in and given her the bag, she would have “won”, receiving everything she wanted thus leaving me with nothing which was usually the case when we played together! 😛 Maybe they should market chips with bottles of Purell?

  5. At least you didn’t assist her in licking off the powdery substance…Wait…Maybe it would have been a better story if you did…

    I use to push the buttons of one of my best friends when we were little, say 7-ish. And then we would fight. I wore glasses, but even in the middle of our skirmishes he or I would yell out “Pause, glasses!” and I would get up remove them and then get back into the same fighting stance and continue fighting.

  6. Pingback: Daily Post: Converse-ation | Diary of a quirky girl

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