The Smoking Shoe


The other night my boyfriend and I were leaving separately from our rendezvous middle point between our two cities. The weekend prior he had accidentally left a pair of shoes at my parents house, which I had intended to return to him this weekend. In doing so, he pointed out to me at the end of the night, “Yes, I am wearing two different shoes”…because this usually happens when you go to the local park and traipse through a sand pit and try to put your shoes on in the dark.

This is when it hit me; a light bulb came on above my head. It may not be the most brilliant of schemes, it may be unconventional, but it just might work.

“Well if you want to get your other shoe back, you will have to quit smoking then”, I said.


Again I repeated myself. His response wasn’t him being defiant, he just honestly didn’t hear everything I said.

I had hounded my dad when I was kid to quit smoking, and my mother had tried to get my grandfather to quit smoking. Needless to say, not only do I come from a line of smoking family members, I come from a line of people that care if those smokers quit too.

Some of those smokers turned to chewing tobacco, some turned to gum. My dad turned to pipe smoking, then hard candy after a cancer scare and none of these options are exactly decent substitutes as they can be addicting themselves and have other consequences; like rotten teeth and an expensive dental visit. Lucky for dad he was blessed with extremely good dental genes.

With that in mind from previous experience in helping someone quit smoking, it has become my mission to find unconventional ways to help my boyfriend quit smoking.

On the surface, yes it sounds crazy forcing mismatched shoes on someone. However, let’s take time to think about this. Everywhere he goes, he will have to explain why he is wearing a shoe on each foot from two different sets of shoes. You can’t go to the gas station just to fill up your car and get coffee without being asked about your shoes. You can’t go to work with one work boot and one everyday shoe on without being harassed by the guys. Then when you go to hang out with your friends; especially those that really care about you, they will inevitably grill you about your mismatched shoes and how they came to be on your feet.

With enough people hounding him about his “odd couple” shoes, and asking why they don’t match, he will get tired of explaining “why” from all the questioning and change his smoker ways. At least that is the hypothesis to this scientific, yet social experiment.

Yes, he has other pairs of shoes, but those are dress shoes. Both sets of these shoes described in this story can be for work or play, and these are the only two specifically used for this purpose! (In case anyone wanted to thwart my theory.)

In the end I caved and wound up returning both sets of shoes, but the next opportunity I get I am stealing at least one left from one pair and one right shoe from another set he uses every time he has to take a smoke break.

Hey it’s not the worst idea out there.

What eccentric thing have you done in the hopes of helping or bettering someone’s life?


4 thoughts on “The Smoking Shoe

    • well the plan is sort of working, the fear has been put into him of having to explain himself! lol! Yes, it is a good thing you don’t smoke with having that many shoes, you would have a lot of explaining to do! 😉

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