As some of you may have noticed, I haven’t written in a while. This is partially due to adjusting to a new job position, taking in two roommates temporarily at two different times, thyroid issues, and a major bout of depression from weaning off Bupropion while dealing with the thyroid issues.
It seems like since 2015 I’ve been giving more of myself and concentrating on others rather than being selfish and doing things strictly just for me. I love doing things for others, don’t get me wrong, but at some point it would be nice to refuel the tank so I can turn around and give more kindness and encouragement out to others.
Since the tank is empty, this has caused me to think outwardly outrageous things. Here are a few examples.
“Just because I’m overly helpful is no reason for you to passively aggressively allude to having raging diarrhea. Asking where the Imodium is, isn’t enough to get me to leave you alone.”
“Why are you still wearing your high school jacket 22 years later? Only The Beach Boys get to do that.”
“Coming in with your music blaring from a battered blue tooth speaker hanging from your belt loop isn’t a good idea. Especially when curse words are involved. This is a family establishment. Also telling your significant other, ‘You sound white’…is like saying you’ve suddenly realized something you hadn’t noticed about them. I think he knows. Maybe turn off the music and communicate more.”
“Yes, I AM on my knees. Why do you act surprised? That’s the only way I can reach the shelf! #tallpeopleproblems” “I’m on my knees? Noooooo, I thought I was a pirate without peg-legs!” “Yes I’m on my knees. You’re old. I thought we were just making obvious statements.”
Those are just things that happened at work. Here are some things that happened at home.
“Whose underwear are these, and why are they out where the squirrels have access to them? Are the squirrels the cause of the person losing their underwear?”
“Why is there blood dripped on the sidewalk where we exit the steps? Can’t they bludgeon each other indoors?”
“Why is there a guy shouting ‘Let me in!’ at 1 am? If he wasn’t such a dog, maybe he wouldn’t have been let out with the other two. Guess that finally answers the question, ‘Who let the dogs out’.”
“Why are all the dogs barking suddenly while I’m trying to pray and meditate? (Dogs suddenly stop barking) My prayers worked!” (Cats starts rustling bags) “Dang it!”
This is only a small sampling, and yes, I get that they may not be all that bad. However, for me they are. Thank you for being patient with me while I’m working my way out of a 6 month funk. To family and friends who I’ve seen in this length of time, if I seem a bit stand-offish, it isn’t you, it genuinely is me.
What are some thoughts you have had that you wouldn’t normally say in your everyday life? Were they due to depression or lack of sleep or both?
Diary of a quirky girl 
First of all, am sorry to hear what you must be going through right now. But am glad you finally speak up, bottling it all up ain’t good. Hang in! It’s just temporary. 🌥
As for your concluding question, yes of course I have had that kinda thoughts before (frankly, perhaps too often haha).
Most frequent source of upset are the schools downstairs my home. They tend to overdo the speaker volume for events. They only need to be heard by students running around on the grounds just slightly bigger than a football field. But their speakers can be heard three blocks away still. Shutting all windows, putting in ear plugs and burying my head under a pillow – all to no avail. It’s hard to not mumble a thing or two then.
The following is the most annoying case I remember. One day, I had worked through the whole night on a project, I was finally, half-dead going to sleep at dawn, and it was a Sunday morning. So one would expect that would work out as planned. But no. Right on that weekend they did some kinda camping on the school grounds, for the fresh students I think. And right at that moment, I had barely closed my eyes, they started shouting a pledge of sorts [literally shouting!], like at 6 something on a Sunday morning. Seriously!? They reminded me of the Borg, whenever they were announcing the assimilation of a ship’s crew. You can imagine what kinda swearing that kicked loose.
Lately, more frequently, it’s also the construction set downstairs. They know how to smoothly time their extra-large jack-hammer operation. Nap plans can become illusions easily, causing a not so well mannered me then.
Cheers! ):-]
Thank you for your positivity and for checking in on me friend!
Wow! It sounds like you are losing sleep too! What is up with people thinking it is ok to do things of that nature so early? 6am? Sure its great to get a head start, but 6 is too early! Jackhammering, as annoying as it is, I can understand if it’s at an acceptable time.
Is there anything like a city ordinance for noise pollution/complaints? Just curious, if so maybe that will help in your plea for peace at 6!? 😴
Not me personally, but my favorite random saying from lack of sleep was a fellow mom friend who turned to her 1 year old while still half asleep after he woke up in the middle of the night, and said “dude, get your life together.” Luckily her husband stepped in and took over that night waking! Hahahaha
Ha ha ha! This gave me a good chuckle! Lack of sleep can definitely make us not ourselves! Hopefully she and the husband are doing well and sleeping through the night? Ha ha ha!
Yes! Now they are at least! But this phrase still runs through my head when my son wakes up in the middle of the night and gives me a good laugh!