Nov

Diary of an angsty girl

As some of you may have noticed, I haven’t written in a while. This is partially due to adjusting to a new job position, taking in two roommates temporarily at two different times, thyroid issues, and a major bout of depression from weaning off Bupropion while dealing with the thyroid issues.

It seems like since 2015 I’ve been giving more of myself and concentrating on others rather than being selfish and doing things strictly just for me. I love doing things for others, don’t get me wrong, but at some point it would be nice to refuel the tank so I can turn around and give more kindness and encouragement out to others.

Since the tank is empty, this has caused me to think outwardly outrageous things. Here are a few examples.

“Just because I’m overly helpful is no reason for you to passively aggressively allude to having raging diarrhea. Asking where the Imodium is, isn’t enough to get me to leave you alone.”

“Why are you still wearing your high school jacket 22 years later? Only The Beach Boys get to do that.”

“Coming in with your music blaring from a battered blue tooth speaker hanging from your belt loop isn’t a good idea. Especially when curse words are involved. This is a family establishment. Also telling your significant other, ‘You sound white’…is like saying you’ve suddenly realized something you hadn’t noticed about them. I think he knows. Maybe turn off the music and communicate more.”

“Yes, I AM on my knees. Why do you act surprised? That’s the only way I can reach the shelf! #tallpeopleproblems” “I’m on my knees? Noooooo, I thought I was a pirate without peg-legs!” “Yes I’m on my knees. You’re old. I thought we were just making obvious statements.”

Those are just things that happened at work. Here are some things that happened at home.

“Whose underwear are these, and why are they out where the squirrels have access to them? Are the squirrels the cause of the person losing their underwear?”

“Why is there blood dripped on the sidewalk where we exit the steps? Can’t they bludgeon each other indoors?”

“Why is there a guy shouting ‘Let me in!’ at 1 am? If he wasn’t such a dog, maybe he wouldn’t have been let out with the other two. Guess that finally answers the question, ‘Who let the dogs out’.”

“Why are all the dogs barking suddenly while I’m trying to pray and meditate? (Dogs suddenly stop barking) My prayers worked!” (Cats starts rustling bags) “Dang it!”

This is only a small sampling, and yes, I get that they may not be all that bad. However, for me they are. Thank you for being patient with me while I’m working my way out of a 6 month funk. To family and friends who I’ve seen in this length of time, if I seem a bit stand-offish, it isn’t you, it genuinely is me.

What are some thoughts you have had that you wouldn’t normally say in your everyday life? Were they due to depression or lack of sleep or both?

7 years ago Short URL 5 Comments

Fun/Funny/Humor/Life/Quirky/Uncategorized

apartment/Buproprion/cats/Depression/home/humor/pirate/Thyroid/work/writing

Aug

Worst Fear: Things my cat ate

Everyone has their worst fears. I have several. If you went through our pantry you might find a lack of carb related foods. This is because my cat ate them all. Before we talk about how she likes to carb load before a healthy run around the house after a successful bowel movement (who wouldn’t?) let’s talk about some enviable attributes.

First off, she has guts. This isn’t referencing her literal tater tot filled innards. She takes and asks forgiveness later. Often times I’m too careful and have a tendency to wait and see if things pan out. My cat’s approach is something like this, “Life is short, learn how to open Tupperware” or “Spare their meat and steal the bun.”

As a kitten I swore she was part raccoon, she was always attracted to shiny things and I would wake up to find my jewelry I was too lazy to put up the night before, hidden. She was a literal cat burglar. Since then, she has grown up some, and has progressed from shiny things to Bobby pins. She would rush to find them (even if they were out of sight) and point at them like an Irish Setter who has found a hunter’s duck.

The weirdest thing though, is her love of carbs. Almost everyone has seen the viral video of cat’s afraid of cucumbers. She has no fear of cucumbers. She will however, chase a potato. After realizing one had fallen out of the bag in the pantry we heard a noise and suddenly we see her wrestling the spud, kicking it with her hind legs and biting it. We experimented and rolled one down the hallway, she barreled after it, attacked it and sat on it as if she were in a match for the ages.

She is a master manipulator. Several times, she has crawled into mine or my husband’s lap only to feign affection to peep her head between our hands and take bites of our cereal…or take the bread from our sandwiches. She waits until we aren’t looking before she hops up on the counter to eat our left over tater tots. She’s usually very quiet, and often times she takes more than she can fit and takes off running licking her chops.

Here is why I’m jealous. She already knows she will be forgiven, so she takes the momentary “shooing” for a moment of palatable starchy goodness. She is spontaneous. I like to make plans weeks in advance. She sees opportunities and takes them. She sees an opportunity for a piggy back ride and she takes it. It doesn’t matter if you’re naked and fresh out of the shower, sitting on the toilet or at the computer. Sometimes I feel like I’ve missed opportunities and I wish I had the eyes to see them. She does not lack in this area. If it isn’t apparent from the drawing, she lives a full life, literally and metaphorically.

What is your worst fear involving your pet? Do you envy them?

Diary of a quirky girl

Tag Archives: cats

Diary of an angsty girl

Worst Fear: Things my cat ate