An Open Letter to Ronda Rousey


Dear Ronda,

First and foremost, I want to say I’m a huge fan.  You have singlehandedly put women on the sports map for MMA.  However, from recent articles it seems you are in need of a pep talk from a female friend.  Let me be that friend.

There was an article published online where you told your mother your new mantra was “FTA”.  (For frequent readers of this blog who might be under 18, we will just say that stands for “Forget Them All”).  I agree with your mom.  You don’t need to use this mantra. 

Look, I know you are dealing with a lot on your shoulders with your upcoming fight against, “what’s-her-face”.  You are angry from your loss in November of 2015.  You are angry because people tried to put you down or tried to steal your shine.  Let me put things in perspective for you for what it’s worth.

Nobody will really know the name of the person you fought 15 years from now.  Heck, I don’t even remember her name now and would have to google it.  Look at what happened after that loss; you fulfilled one of my long time dreams of being on Saturday Night Live.  Note who they asked…YOU.  Not the other gal.  You.

You performed a skit in which you stood against bullies.  You know what it is like to be bullied, and I don’t see anyone else performing that skit better than you.  That skit was so funny, I showed it to the kids I help teach.  

After your loss you admitted to depression and facing a lot of dark areas.  You opened up a lot of minds with that statement.  You could have kept it secret, but instead you let it out there into a world where there is still a stigma attached to it.  You helped others to see it is okay to be dealing with stuff in a dark way, which is completely normal even though society tells us it isn’t.

You say your new mantra is for your nieces, family and fans who haven’t given up on you.  Ronda, I haven’t given up on you.  I will say this though; if you hadn’t had the backlash from “haters”, would you have had the anger to fuel you for this next bout?  By saying, “FTA” to te opposition, you are only proving them right.  You are proving hate is a way of life.  You are feeding into what the other teams want; which is you getting angry enough that you sabotage yourself.  They are betting on the false hope that your anger will open up any weaknesses they can exploit.  Don’t let them do this.

In a strange way, anger can get you through some tough times (trust me, I’ve had some).  Be thankful for the anger, but don’t let that anger dull anything that makes you happy.  Don’t let the anger get in the way of your passion for the sport.  Ultimately this is why you are still in.  Not just any woman would voluntarily train as hard as you do to get a few licks to the face.  You obviously are putting yourself at risk because there is something you love about the sport.  

Prove the others wrong.  You aren’t fueled just by anger.  You are also fueled by love.  Love for the sport, love for your family, love for your friends and your loyal fans.  Never give up, never give in.

Merry Christmas and Sincerely yours,

Quirky Girl

Worst Fear: Things my cat ate

Everyone has their worst fears.  I have several. If you went through our pantry you might find a lack of carb related foods.  This is because my cat ate them all. Before we talk about how she likes to carb load before a healthy run around the house after a successful bowel movement (who wouldn’t?) let’s talk about some enviable attributes.

First off, she has guts.  This isn’t referencing her literal tater tot filled innards.  She takes and asks forgiveness later.  Often times I’m too careful and have a tendency to wait and see if things pan out.  My cat’s approach is something like this, “Life is short, learn how to open Tupperware” or “Spare their meat and steal the bun.”

As a kitten I swore she was part raccoon, she was always attracted to shiny things and I would wake up to find my jewelry I was too lazy to put up the night before, hidden.  She was a literal cat burglar. Since then, she has grown up some, and has progressed from shiny things to Bobby pins.  She would rush to find them (even if they were out of sight) and point at them like an Irish Setter who has found a hunter’s duck.

The weirdest thing though, is her love of carbs.  Almost everyone has seen the viral video of cat’s afraid of cucumbers.  She has no fear of cucumbers.  She will however, chase a potato.  After realizing one had fallen out of the bag in the pantry we heard a noise and suddenly we see her wrestling the spud, kicking it with her hind legs and biting it.  We experimented and rolled one down the hallway, she barreled after it, attacked it and sat on it as if she were in a match for the ages.  

She is a master manipulator.  Several times, she has crawled into mine or my husband’s lap only to feign affection to peep her head between our hands and take bites of our cereal…or take the bread from our sandwiches.  She waits until we aren’t looking before she hops up on the counter to eat our left over tater tots.  She’s usually very quiet, and often times she takes more than she can fit and takes off running licking her chops.   

Here is why I’m jealous.  She already knows she will be forgiven, so she takes the momentary “shooing” for a moment of palatable starchy goodness.  She is spontaneous.  I like to make plans weeks in advance.  She sees opportunities and takes them.  She sees an opportunity for a piggy back ride and she takes it.  It doesn’t matter if you’re naked and fresh out of the shower, sitting on the toilet or at the computer.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve missed opportunities and I wish I had the eyes to see them.  She does not lack in this area.  If it isn’t apparent from the drawing, she lives a full life, literally and metaphorically.

What is your worst fear involving your pet?  Do you envy them?

This is bananas…

This is just a quick thought on my lunch break.

The other day I was filling in as 8th grade history teacher while the teacher I work for/with was testing other students. We were talking about things happening in history “again”. That’s when I quietly sang the first few bars of Brittany Spears’s song, “Oops I did it again.” Not even a smile was cracked. I looked up from the book and said, “You know the song, by Brittany Spears…”

The student in the back asked, “Who’s Brittany Spears?”

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It didn’t quite settle in yet what was happening until l worked my second job the next day. I was working the checkout next to the magazines. The only recognizable faces on the glossy covers were mainly because of students educating me. I recognized Drew Barrymore and Megyn Kelly; and thats about it.

It didn’t hit me until halfway through a Redbook magazine that most publications see my generation as no longer marketable.

I’m officially old, and it feels good.

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I love not being pandered to. No longer do magazines think I can easily be pursuaded into something I dont need. Now the magazines for my generation and older feature color, designs and garden patterns you can do yourself. It seems the main focus for Generation X and early Millenials is self reliance.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still envious of other generations.

The babyboomers.

The babyboomers still have the best music, and their magazines have now changed into those trendy coloring books you see everywhere.

If they don’t like something in a magazine they can become a kid again and make the colors up as they go!

What have you noticed visibly about your generation in marketing? What appeals to you about it?

Destination Meditation

Usually at night before going to bed I will do a guided visualization meditation. It’s pretty easy to try, for some people it keeps them up, some it provides relaxation. For me it usually provides ease of tension in muscles and gives me ideas for blogs and art, and hope for the future.
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However…

The other night I was doing a meditation on youtube through the Ayelet channel. She does a guided visualization of you looking in the mirror at yourself and visualizing 1 and then 5 years from now. It gives you a clear sense of who you are and where you want to be as a person.

So there I was, envisioning my future successful self as a traveling writer and teacher. Meanwhile my parents’ cat whom we’re babysitting is pawing at me to share the covers.

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Ok, that was only a mild distraction. I then set out in a journey of ten years from the date it was when I did this meditation. I visualized walking down the street an older wiser woman with sage advice, peace in her heart and a sense of joy.

Then in the middle of the guided meditation came the next jarring thought uttered out of Ayelet’s mouth. Imagine your “favorite destination.”

I’ve been concentrating so much on the here and now that I’ve not had time with my husband to find a cool place we both like to go. Back in the day I would have said Blueberry Hill or Pie restaurant in St. Louis. However I no longer reside there. I’ve been to Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, Indiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and that is about it. Most of those places I went to in college to visit a close friend, therefore it was not a site seeing trip.

Honestly my husband and I dream of going to Italy where we can indulge our former art student selves and drool over the work in the Sistene Chapel or see other famous sites. I dream of traveling and meeting my fellow bloggers with my husband going to exciting places and meeting interesting people.

But when I meditate, I cant get there. I know when meditating its an exercise of being in that moment. In this particular exercise it was being in a moment of the future, but it’s hard to imagine the geographics when you’ve never been  there. I can imagine the feeling of walking into the Sistene Chapel, and the possible smell of the plastered walls, but it is the visual I cant seem to grasp.

Maybe I don’t have a destination because we will soon discover one. As a kid my favorite destinations were under the bushes in my friend’s yard where we would pretend it was a secret hideout even though everyone knew about it. My other favorite destinations have included family members homes, friends’ homes, the clubhouse my parents built in the backyard, and the limestone piles of rocks my friend and I would hike in the winter.

Do I really need a favorite place? I started panicking in my meditative state because I was truly stumped. All of the places I listed are still favorite places, but they are also memories from the past, some have changed, some no longer exist. So what is my new destination of the future? Has it even been created yet?

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I guess the question I pose to you dear readers, is this; do you run into this problem too? Are all your favorite places in the past?

Sure we all have hopes and dreams of visiting some place, but is there a favorite place in the here and now you can guarantee will be there in the future?

Compassionate Pineapple

When I was in the middle of moving from St. Louis back to my hometown three years ago I remarked to a close friend that I was going to start training to become a boxer.  She said, “You can’t do that.”  Slightly offended I asked why and she quipped, “You’re too sweet.” Boxing cat and dog In a way she was right.  I was a pineapple without it’s rougher exterior.  I wore my heart on my sleeve and allowed myself to be vulnerable to everything.  Fast forward to last week.

Last week was my first for substitute teaching.  As much as it pained me to leave my co-workers at my last job, this new job is the first step in a journey of becoming a certified teacher. What many don’t realize is the first step comes with a lot of tests.

I’m not talking about  literal tests where you have to fill in all those little dots until your hands bleed.  The tests many of us remember taking in college and high school. The ones where we darkened in the bubbles with the worn down graphite in our pencils only to discover we missed a question and had to erase and start over again. The tests I’m talking about are the ones the students put you through.

When you start substituting, you might think, “Oh I’ve got this.  I’m older, I’m smarter.”  Don’t kid yourself, you’re not.  On paper, you might be.  You might even have a piece of paper you forked over thousands of dollars for to say you know how to do something at an expert level, I do.  However it only proves you know how to do something.  It doesn’t prove you know how to work with people. It doesn’t prove you know how to treat a child coming from a home where their only source of parental affection comes from a television.  It doesn’t prove you are an expert in someone’s past.  It can however get you a foot in the door to doing something you really love.

I have a degree.  Proof that I have taken over sixty credit hours in school.  Proof that I can concentrate long enough to make a decent grade.  All the proof I need to willingly submit to being tested by some of the toughest people on the planet…grade schoolers.

They will try to tell you the teacher’s lesson plan.  They will knowingly pass notes about farting superheroes hoping they will get caught.  They will feign tummy aches and ouchies just to get out of class.  They will try to give you guilt trips and hold you responsible for losing a book that has been on their desk the whole time.  They will see just how many things they can get away with before their substitute for the day gives up.

Boxing taught me to tough out what you think will inevitably kill you.  It taught me to have confidence and to believe in myself.  My life training in retail, dealing with customers and quirky co-workers has taught me patience.  These kids weren’t ready for a teacher who wasn’t going to shout at them.  They weren’t ready for a teacher who was going to tough out their tests.  They weren’t ready for a teacher who doesn’t give up, or give in to their scheming plans to get out of learning correct grammar and punctuation.  They weren’t ready for someone who understands what it’s like to be a kid.

As I taught them, they taught me.

“Thank you for being nice to us even though we were bad,” remarked one of my students. The more I teach, the tougher my exterior becomes, yet at the same time, I find my insides getting sweeter. cat pineapple What life experience has taught you something when you least expected it?  

Gross Domestic Happiness

My husband and I are moving.  We are packing up the cats as we speak and teaching them how to meow in Dzongkha and Japanese.

In a former blog post I mentioned one of the five things people didn’t know about me is I wanted an assignment where I would travel and write about the destinations I’ve visited.  Obviously on this trip my husband would accompany me to help document our activities.  He is a professional photographer and the last time I took a picture I looked like this:

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Granted this all sounds very much like “Eat, Pray, Love” but it would be quirkier, I’m traveling WITH my husband and not starting out single.  Call it a “Couple’s Quest for Intrinsic Happiness”.

The truth is we aren’t really moving.  We recently watched a documentary titled, “Happy” on Netflix.happy PosterThe entire film was fascinating and a couple of things stood out to me.  Half way through the film the crew went to Bhutan and talked about the main concern of the country being “Gross National Happiness”.  Whereas most countries concentrate on the amount of money they’re bringing in, what exports they can sell to who, and how to turn the income from the sale into goods for themselves, Bhutan realized what was truly important, their people.

The nation as a collective has decided not to concentrate on material concerns.  The material concerns caused them to move established communities, upheaving a life they once knew, eliminate forestry cover and lose spiritual sites for a time.  Gross National Product in turn was causing more harm than good so instead, they decided to pursue Gross National Happiness.  Going into it they knew they wouldn’t be a nation of monetary wealth.  They have only just started this endeavor and we have yet to see what comes of their pursuits.  They believe the happiness of their people in turn will be rewarding, helping them lead prosperous, longer lives.

(It is a proven fact, the happier a person is and the people around them, the longer they live.)

This brings me to the next country we would like to move to, Japan.  There are two reasons I would love to visit the island of Okinawa.  The Okinawans have the longest living population in the world, most live to be one hundred years old.  They farm together, eat dinner together and through the farming, provide gifts of food for their family and friends.  This sounds like a dream to me, this is my first reason for visiting the beautiful island.

They interviewed elderly women at a local community center and the women spoke of “ichariboachode” (you are brother and sister even if you have met for the first time) and “monchu” (one family).  Some of the women were captives in World War II.  When they lost their families, they had their neighbors and communities to rely on.  Everyone took care of each other.

My Grandfather was in the 6th Marine Division during World War II, went to Okinawa and helped rescue some of these women from the caves they were hidden in on the island.  My Grandfather barely spoke of this, his heart was broken over the condition in which he found these women and children.  When I spoke to my parents about this film my mother said some resonating words, “Your Grandpa would be so happy that in time these people found happiness.” She is right.  This is the second reason I would love to visit Okinawa.  In some way, by visiting, I feel it would bring closure to an issue my Grandfather had for a long time.  By seeing with my own eyes, their happiness, and in turn letting them know he carried that burden with him for so long, it would be a meeting of happiness and healing for the parties involved.

My Grandfather in China circa1945

My Grandfather in China circa1945

My Grandfather on a tug boat Circa 1943-1945 (?)

My Grandfather on a tug boat Circa 1943-1945 (?)

For one nation to realize the meaning of life is not in the possession of things but within ourselves, faith and each other is a huge step, I feel, in the right direction.  I want to go with my husband to Bhutan and maybe accidentally get stuck between two prayer wheels, so I can say “It’s alright, I’m between prayers right now!”.  I want to explore what makes the people of Bhutan happy and how they plan to ensure happiness for future generations.

I want to go to Okinawa and speak to some of the women who may have met my Grandpa. I want to ask them how through the sorrows of war they made the journey back to happiness.

I want to travel to the places I only heard my grandpa speak of and where my great-aunt would bring back souvenirs like a tiny bronze Buddha statue.  Even though both my grandpa and great-aunt were devout Christians, they still saw the beauty in other peoples’ faiths and cultures.  I want to see what they saw.

I want to see, understand and live happiness like the people in these countries.  Maybe in turn if someone were to employ my husband and I to travel to these places, in writing the book about the experiences, it would help others to look within, reflect and see what their passion truly is, what truly makes them happy.

 If any of my readers are from Bhutan or Okinawa I would like to know what you think about the representation of your countries in the documentary.  Do you feel it is accurate?  Do you feel you are intrinsically happy or are you still seeking it?

     To my other readers, what makes YOU happy? Happy 

 

 

One Lovely Blog Award (part Deux)

Thanks to Sherry at The Lunch Lady blog for awarding me with the One Lovely Blog Award!  Everyone should head over to her blog right now for some inspiration.  She is a tea connoisseur, a whiz with refurbishing, and a wonderful blogger! one-blog-lovely-award

As part of accepting this award, I must tell you all seven things about me, some you might possibly not know.  Here they are in no particular order:

1.  I want to travel to unique places in the world and get paid to write about my travels.  I feel like I live under a rock sometimes because I don’t get out enough.  There are special parks locally and I wonder why I’ve never heard of, or been to these places.  Apparently there is a large “cat” sanctuary in Arkansas.  You can stay in cabins on the premises and hear the Lions speak to each other across the park in low, thundering trills as you wake in the morning.

2.  I really enjoy reading and writing short stories.  Inevitably, you have to do a lot of editing, but strangely, short story writing gives you freedom to get right in to the nitty-gritty of the plot.  My particular emphasis is on character development, you may not relate to the characters, but there is just something about them that appeals to the reader.  Let’s just say, I love writing so much, I aced my creative writing course!  Not to brag or anything.

3.  I’ve tweeted back and forth with the real life Wonder Woman, Linda Carter.  On several occasions.  Again, not to brag or anything.

4.  I collect the tops of Honest Tea bottles and the tags from Yogi Tea bags.  Somehow I think one day I will have time to do an art project inlaying the bottle caps on a table top where-in I pour acrylic over them to preserve the well written six-word essays inscribed in the bottle caps.  I also think one day I will have time to make jewelry out of the tea bag tags.  This has been two years in the making.

5.  I’m still catching up on the classics of literature.  This summer I read The Great Gatsby for the first time and loved it.  Any given day I might be reading 3 books at the same time.  Currently I’m reading Tracks, The Kinetic Keeper (a book by my cousin), An Autobiography of a Yogi, and soon I will be reading To Kill a Mockingbird.

6.  I love watching people’s reactions when they taste my food for the first time…especially if I’m proud of it.

7.  I stink at Baby Shower games.  Here is evidence:IMG_0272

Now to continue this on and pay the love forward from Ms. Sherry’s blog, here are the following people I would like to nominate!

O.K. bloggers here are the rules to accept the award…and I look forward to hearing more about YOU!

1. You must thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.

2. You must list the rules and display the award.

3. You must add 7 facts about yourself.

4. You must nominate 15 other bloggers and comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated.

5. You must display the award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you.Unlike the Liebster Award which is aimed at newbie bloggers, this award has no restriction as to who you can nominate!

Project Hi 5

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Within the last couple of weeks I stumbled upon some blogs worth mentioning here. There are quite a few I read but just wanted to draw attention to these two in particular.

These two blogs, The Apartment Wife and The Duck and the Owl have all started projects in which they spread good will, good vibes while getting to know others in their neighborhoods, towns and cities. How did they do this? I’m glad you asked. If you would like, you can check them out by clicking on their names above to get the full story but I will provide you with a synopsis.

They are folks like myself tired of being a stranger in their own town. They are tired of people being afraid to get to know their neighbors, to get to know people in their town and tired of being lonely. Most of all, they want to put a smile on someone’s face. It all started with Apartment Wife printing off cards with positive phrases to hand to strangers while she was out and about with a few friends. The Duck and the Owl feeling inspired by her did their own version by leaving positive comments in random places in their town at shops and eateries.

After reading the affects of their projects and social experiments, it got me to thinking about what could be done in our town here in Southwest Missouri. I started talking to a few regulars about the idea I had that fell in line with the other three bloggers and while the regulars at my store attentively listened, they all said the same thing; they thought it was a good idea.

One of the regulars even went as far as to admitting to doing something similar on her own with one of her best friends and they handed out cards and roses, and in fact even helped change the life of one woman they bumped into.

The truth is readers, I may not have money, I may not have the means to fund a huge project to help those who are in dire straits and need a place to live, but I do have a big heart. It hurts turning on the news, whether it is national or local, and seeing tragedies unfold because someone didn’t feel accepted, loved, or even acknowledged. Sometimes it feels as if all these people needed maybe at one point in their life was a smile or a hug, someone to maybe help them redirect their sails on their lifeboat.

Eventually I started asking around at work to a few people who I knew who felt the same. They also wanted to make a difference and make people smile. They just want the same thing for everyone else, for everyone to just be happy. Happy is a state of mind that goes unchanged whether you are in a storm or not. It might be hard to get out of, but there is always a silver lining, it just may not be laid out yet…friends and strangers can help you get back to smooth waters; I should know.

My husband, myself, colleagues and their significant others have all come up with a plan. We are calling it, “Project Hi 5.” We are going around with cards with our logo and a link to our blog to explain who we are and what our mission is, along with an inspirational saying, or just a joke printed on the other side of the card to make someone smile.

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(It will probably be like one of Steve Martin’s cards, but still thats something right?)

The idea is, people take the card with them and hopefully they will put it some place where they can see it, have access to it and be reminded they are not alone and it will get better. Then they can follow the link to our website so they can keep up and let us know where in town they were “Hi 5’d”. In order to receive the card, they have to “Hi 5” one of us. This is just our way to break the ice and to establish a connection to someone.

Truth is, we are all tired of being strangers. When you don’t know your neighbors, co-workers or people around you, it not only makes you lonely but in a way it’s like living in fear. We want to draw people out of this mentality. Not only do we want to draw them out, but we will offer them to join us.

Please stay tuned to the Project Hi 5 blog to learn all about the progress of spreading contagious smiles and who the individuals are contributing to this group of social misfits.

Do you ever feel like you could have benefited from someone just saying hi or giving you a hug? What were you going through at the time you could have used a “Hi 5” ?

This teacher publishes comic books successfully.

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The title of this blog is a six word sentence I have chosen for my future. These are the six words, I will bring to fruition. Before making the predicate part of the sentence a reality, first I must become the subject.

Today’s daily post challenge on WordPress is to come up with a six word sentence describing your future.

In recent months I’ve been praying and meditating on what to do about a major life decision. Life has been a bit difficult financially here of late therefore causing me to re-plan my original life blueprint. A lot of people my age are having to reroute their lives as if they are a satellite navigation system in their car.

As you know I majored with a degree in Fine Art. This isn’t exactly the most stable degree, especially in an economy like this one. Having a bit of a dilemma I’ve had conversations with people about my life plan as now it’s not just my life but I share it with my husband.

Curiously my Mother-in-law and I were having a conversation one day when she suddenly said, “Have you thought about teaching…” Honestly years ago I had considered becoming an art teacher but due to unforeseen reasons that plan didn’t work.

I had my heart intent on changing the world one classroom at a time through art, by helping children understand the importance of art. I wanted to teach them it was o.k. to think differently and be in the likes of tortured but wonderful and humorous companions such as Van Gogh and Frida Kahlo. I wanted to teach them to see the world through a kaleidoscope of colors, not just black and white. I wanted to teach them to think and see differently and learn people can speak many languages by communicating through the visual arts.

My Mother-in-law finished her sentence, “…English?” This was the first time anyone had suggested teaching something other than art to me. This was the seed planted in my brain that slowly started sprouting this summer. Suddenly I realized my gift of being able to communicate with children and awkward junior high kids may not be lost. My parents have always seen my gift with children and knew I had something special.

Then the second sign came a few weeks ago. My husband received a call from a best friend. He didn’t tell her everything that had been going through my mind, the questioning, the self doubt about the possibility of teaching something which in essence is my second language; art always has and always will be my first language. She told him over the phone, “She would make a great middle school teacher.”

Then came the third sign, this is the one that has been a constant. My friend of 12 years has said to me numerous times since 2007 I need to bite the bullet and become a teacher. She witnessed my gift first hand when we worked together and I basically babysat children in the fitting room of the store we worked. She even enrolled my help the weekend of her wedding sitting me next to the most talkative children of her family knowing full well we’d be in full on conversation mode before the adults even broke into the festivities. Last week something private happened (which I won’t discuss here) and I texted her about it. My phone buzzed, I quickly looked at it to see my third sign in text form. Her response was, “Become a teacher.”

I couldn’t believe it, three signs. People have always said things come in threes.

I finally sat down and told my parents of my plans a few weeks ago of how I might be going back to school next January. The more I talked about it the more excited I became. As I sat there, I started hatching lesson plans over the belief I would share a common interest with some of my students; comic books.

Comic books were my gateway into becoming a better reader, writer and… artist. What better way to combine three of my loves? Then it came to me to teach my future imaginary students how to write a comic book. Then the plan became more elaborate, why not combine this project with the art students who will help illustrate it for them if they can not illustrate it themselves? Then this lesson plan also integrates communication skills, because as we all know, what the writer and the artist sees are not always the same thing.

The excitement over exploring this lesson plan made me think of another plan, why not publish these books? We could combine all of the books the students made, and then publish them so all students and anyone who wanted to purchase them could. All of the proceeds would then go back into the school’s pockets.

This morning, as I rode in my car, I did my usual prayers. I prayed for my family, my friends, my co-workers. Then I asked God for another sign. This might seem demanding to ask considering I had already received three signs. Basically I said, “Look, I know you’ve sent these signs, but I want to make sure I heard you right. Please if you are sending me a sign, make it to where I know and please help me to listen to you.” I like to be certain of things now in my older age. I’ve grown tired of not looking before I leap, there is too much at stake now to leap without eyes.

I think my response sign came a few hours later at work this morning. My friend was helping a mother and her young daughter at the counter. I was on the other side and happened to see the young girl whose head didn’t even reach the counter. Strangely she reminded me of me in first grade. She had been dressed by her mother but so much of her personality was bursting at the seams it was hard to keep herself in the assumed pristine condition she was dressed in when she left the house. Seeing this bubbly young girl, I made my way over to her and said, “High five!” She was in the middle of eating a morsel of a pear and quickly shoved the pear in her mouth as she exuberantly gave me a high five with the pear residue still on her tiny fingers. She quickly said, “Hang on, I have to wipe the pear off my hands!” Without skipping a beat, with one swipe on her shirt she then quickly slapped my hand as an affirmation of excellence in being true to who you are.

I had to make my way to the back to put something away and then made my way to the computer to print off tags. I heard some commotion on the other side of the restaurant when suddenly I found the little girl standing on the other side of the counter looking at me with her innocent eyes. She said, “Hey you’re really pretty today.” Taken back by her kind words and her uninhibited way of delivering them, I quickly made sure to compliment her on her shoes and outfit, but before I could even get the words out about her outfit she held up her entire leg to show me a different angle of her shoes and exclaimed, ” My Nana got them for me!”

I then asked her, “So have you started school yet?” Her reply, “Weeeelllll YEAH!” As she tried to unfurl her story as fast as she could, her mom told her they were limited on time and would come back. The little girl and I made plans to talk about her school next time she came in with her mom.

A few seconds after they had left I looked across the room to see my friend behind the other counter where she loudly said, “I think you are going to be canonized as the patron saint of children.”

I think this was the gentle sign reminding me of my gift of gab with children. This was just the conversation needed to persuade me the other three signs were a message for me to become a teacher. I already knew I was going to write, draw and publish comic books, I didn’t realize I would be putting on an extra “hat” in the process, but it’s a wonderful feeling.

How do you see your future? What is something that has been calling you but it has taken you a long time to notice? What was your blue print you had planned and what changed it?

P.s. I googled the patron Saint of children and it’s this guy…

20130910-202738.jpg I’ve always thought it would be cool to have his job!

The Daily Prompt: The Inner Light

Everyone starts their blog for a myriad of reasons. A long time ago when everyone communicated through Myspace, I sort of had a blog on there to keep up with friends. Then as we have all become familiar with changing times, the latest fad in social media networking changed and everyone made the leap to Facebook. Unfortunately, the new writing format didn’t appeal to me on Facebook when I signed up in 2006. It would be a while before I returned to writing.

In 2010 I was put in touch with a small publishing company in St. Louis and as part of the requirements for being considered for a novel submission, you had to be a prolific writer on your own blog. The idea of having my own space to write about everything and anything was appealing to me. Eventually my idea for a novel (pitched as a graphic novel at the time) was turned down, but it opened up the door for me to consider myself a writer and develop my craft. I continued writing on the blog, most of it was absurd and a halfway attempt at being funny and witty. Then I went through a divorce and unfortunately the blog was one of the few places I was still attached to my ex. I could no longer blog about my personal life which became the main subject of that particular blog without getting some form of feedback from him or some former associates.

I was careful about the information I posted, censoring myself was new. I yearned to be lyrically free, to be verbose and to spring forth with ideas like I once did. Every story had a hint of being stifled, leaving my readers to read between the lines, some who knew me personally and some who did not, probably causing some confusion.

The second to last blog entry on my old blog was about getting a job back in my hometown and looking forward to the new adventure in an old familiar place I needed to move away from in order to grow up. The blog entry after that; I wrote about my grandfather’s passing. This is where I stopped. My life had taken a sudden turn. The job I had blogged about became a wash forcing me to look for a new job in my second week of being back home and now suddenly my grandfather had passed. It seemed as if my grandfather’s death was the finality of not only the blog, but solidified my life would be completely different. In terms of how to put it, it was the end of my era in St. Louis.

A month or so later one of my best friends passed away from Thyroid cancer. Life had become difficult. I was struggling to not think about family and friends in the life I left behind in the big city, feeling like I was missing out, feeling in a way, sort of alone and like I let them down by not being there for them in their final moments.

The itch to write came back. I wanted to connect with others, but didn’t want as a result to have any contact with my ex and any former cohorts due to me writing about my life. My grandfather and my bestie wouldn’t want me to write in fear. They loved me for my crazy self, the girl who always wore a smile and a flower in her hair. Being in a funk and depressed was not going to get me any closer to finding that woman I was and the woman I wanted to aspire to be in the future.

The solution for me, was to start this blog. Originally, I started out under the pen name Quirky Girl as a way of hiding. The funny thing about this blog, through writing it, I made the decision to make it positive. People talk about the effects of positivity and how it can change and influence your life. Making this decision to write something positive, influenced me to think more positively in my life outside of this blog. I became a tiny bit more social again, I started making friend requests on Facebook, as some of you know; which lead to my marriage to my amazing husband. However, had this blog not been posted to my Facebook, my husband might possibly have never taken an interest in me. As he put it, “When I read your blog I realized there was something going on between the ears.” Being positive lead me to all of this.

I made the conscious decision to write something positive, if being positive wasn’t going to happen the day I happened to be inspired to write, then at least it would be somewhat humorous. More importantly, to combat the loneliness, this blog was also a tool to connect with others and hear their thoughts on topics no matter how ridiculous they were. I was used to only getting a few hits here and there. The whole goal was to be a ghost writer and work the hard way trying to gain a following and gain readers. I liked the idea of famous anonymity. If fellow Missourian Samuel Clemens could write as Mark Twain, then maybe I could accomplish something similar.

Suddenly one day while I was out and about grabbing a sub sandwich I checked my phone to find my blog had blown up. WordPress made my blog a viral hit for a couple of days. I realized I could no longer hide, I couldn’t be afraid of people enjoying what I had to write and the ridiculous adventures that happen. If my ex found out about the new blog, then so what? He’s not going to find out anything new, except I’ve developed a fear of automated air fresheners and have recently been remarried in the last year.

The moral of this story dear readers, is when you have a light, you have to let it shine. You can’t hide it from the rest of the world, this is one thing you have taught me over the last year and I thank you for the lesson. Be you, be bold, be brave, be bright, be love.

Why did you start writing?

20130802-204219.jpg This is me, no longer hiding…HELLO WORLD!

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